Since I have been a child, cancer has been a part of my life. When I was eleven-years-old my Father and his younger brother were both diagnosed with brain cancer just a couple a months apart. And only a few months later, their father was diagnosed with both lung and colon cancer. Needless to say the next years of my life were very frightening and difficult as this cancer “monster” invaded the safety and security of my family.
Praise be to God! my Dad survived his first bout with cancer, but, after years of struggling with the disease, both my dear Grandfather and Uncle would succumb to it when I was 17-years-old.
Cancer would rear its ugly head once again as my younger brother would discover he had colon cancer at the young age of 26. My father, compelled to get a colonoscopy after my brother’s diagnosis would find out only a month later, that he had colon cancer a well. Over the course of the next few years, my dad’s only surviving brother would be stricken with cancer three times and my father would struggle with the disease a third time.
As you can see, cancer has been so very prevalent in my life and I have always considered it our family “curse”. That is, until I, myself, was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago.
I know that this may surprise some of you, but as I consider my whole experience with cancer, it has become one of the greatest gifts of my lifetime. Why? To be honest I do not have enough time or enough space to relate to you all that I have gained and learned. God has revealed Himself to me in ways I have never previously experienced and He has revealed things about myself that I was not aware of.
Here are a few of the reasons why my cancer has been a “gift”:
1) My cancer has helped me to take an honest look at my life and assess where I really am with God. It has helped me long to be more passionate in my faith and to be more effective in making a difference in the Kingdom of God.
2) It has helped me to reflect on the reality of my mortality. I really am going to die one day and I discovered that if it was going to happen soon, I had far too many regrets… I was awakened to the sad truth that I am a woman of many good intentions but, I do not act on them near enough.
3) It has helped me to see that each and every day is a precious gift from God and that I have wasted far too many of those days and far too many opportunities to be a blessing to others.
4) It has helped me to value this life more – I am so much more grateful and appreciative for the every day things that I have previously taken for granted. Spring has never been more beautiful and vibrant and I have never enjoyed my daily walks more. A child’s laugh has never sounded so sweet.
5) It has helped me to value and appreciate loved ones even more than before as I don’t know the number of their days or mine. I can never say “I love you” or encourage them enough.
6) It has helped me to see how loved I really am! What a blessing to have so many family members and friends rally around me, support and encourage me, provide for and help me. I have never been so overwhelmed with the love of God poured out to me by His children
7) Cancer has helped me to understand suffering and pain as never before and I can hopefully better minister to those going through similar situations.
After my surgery, I was blessed with a fabulous diagnosis: the cancer had not spread and I did not have to undergo chemotherapy or radiation (Praise God a billion times!) I only have to go in for tests every three months for the next two years, and every six months for three years after that. However, I am completely aware that most others with cancer do not have such a good prognosis.
But, even with such a good outlook, here’s the reality of the situation — I may never have cancer again or it may come back. I may live another 20 or 30 years or I may not live another 20 or 30 days due to death in another manner. No matter what my future holds. I am convinced, more than ever of the Sovereignty of the Lord. I am more “sold out” and as your Minister of Music, I want to spend whatever days I have left proclaiming the Good News of Jesus Christ – His Salvation, His Truth, His Goodness, His Love, His Joy, His Peace and His Hope!
Because of this unlikely gift of cancer, my life has been forever changed and I long to walk closer to the Lord than ever before, to serve God’s people better and to take every opportunity to share His life-changing Truth in a desperate and dark world.
I stand with and agree wholeheartedly with the Psalmist who proclaimed this message in Psalm 119:71 & 72, “It was good for me to be afflicted so that I may learn Your decrees. The law from Your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.”
Blessings and Peace,
Connie