The Influence of a Father (Father’s Day 2025)
Call to Hear
Well, it wouldn’t be a true Father’s Day without a good dad joke, so here you go.
• Did you know that dogs can't operate MRI machines? But catscan.
• Have you ever tried to catch the fog? I tried yesterday but I mist.
• What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn?
Ok! Enough of that. You didn’t come to hear me tell jokes.
The Bad News
This morning, I have some good news for you and some bad news concerning fathers. Let me start off with the bad news by telling you a quick story.
One summer, when I was around 16 years old, a man walked into the game room where I was hanging out with some friends. I immediately recognized this guy as a family friend. He approached me and mentioned that someone was waiting outside to talk to me. I didn’t really want to go with him since I was in the middle of a pool game, but he was persistent. However, reluctantly, I agreed to go with him. Once we got outside, a third person joined us. I didn’t recognize this guy - that is, until I shook his hand and he told me who he was; to my great surprise he was my dad. That night had a huge effect on me. For years I have thought about that encounter. Can you imagine, standing inches away from your dad with no idea it’s him?
I cannot ever remember buying a single Father’s Day gift for my dad. I cannot remember making him a card, giving him a phone call or having any contact with him to say happy Father’s Day. My dad left before I ever came into this world and yet, his absence made me want to know him even more. There are millions of kids who experience this same thing year-round.
In 2023, just a couple of years ago, nearly one in four children in America aged 0‒17 years, totaling about 19 million, were living in a household without their biological, step, or adoptive father, mostly with their mother (85% of cases).[1]
Jon Tyson, author of the incredible book, The Intentional Father, argues that the absence of a father or father figure in the home is a contributing factor to the loss of many of our young people. We are losing the younger generation to the world because with no male model to help guide them they are forced to “self-initiate” into adulthood. Specifically speaking about young men, he says that,
“...while attempting to self-initiate their way into manhood, are actually carrying their adolescence into adulthood.”[2]
“We are surrounded by adult men who, in actuality, are nothing more than teenagers, still trying to find their way....”[3]
If you don’t think that a father’s presence or absence makes a difference, then listen to this. John Sowers, in his book, Fatherless Generation, shares this incredible piece of information about several brilliant men who have had a huge influence in shaping the minds of many.
Frederick Nietzsche’s father, a Lutheran pastor, died a couple of months before Nietzsche’s fifth birthday. Nietzsche writes in detailed sadness of the day of his father’s death. Later in his life, Nietzsche famously proclaimed, ‘God is dead.’
David Hume lost his father when he was only two years old.
Bertrand Russell, famous for his essay entitled ‘Why I Am Not a Christian’, lost his father when he was only four.
Jean-Paul Sartre’s dad died when he was just fifteen months old.
Albert Camus’s father died in WWI while Camus was just barely one foot into this life. Camus writes about his own search for a father in his book The First Man.[4]
Now, what do all these men have in common? Aside from being unbelievably brilliant, they were all atheists. Now, don’t hear me saying that if there’s no father in your house then your kids are going to turn against God. I just think that information like this points to the very necessary presence of dads in the lives of children.
The word of God has much to say about fatherlessness. One of the main things is that we, the body of Christ, are to help disciple those without a male model in the home.
James 1:27 NKJV
27 Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.
The prophet Isaiah said that we are to,
Isaiah 1:17 NKJV
17 Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor; Defend the fatherless, Plead for the widow.
The word that Isaiah uses which is translated as defend is a legal term. It means to vindicate. Did you know that kids who grow up without a father figure in the house are more likely to go prison than those with a father figure?
85% of youths in prison come from fatherless homes[5]
Might I remind you; you’re looking at that statistic right now.
But folks, I am so incredibly grateful for a Father who calls me by His name and adopts me into His family.
Psalm 27:10 NKJV
10 When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take care of me.
The Good News
How about some good news?
Being a father is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, even though I always feel like I am messing up. It is always humbling to me when any of you praise me for being a good dad. Whatever good you are taking notice of in me as a parent comes from God, from my wife, and the men whose lives have been changed by God. Men like Stan Harrison, David McBride, David Jackson, Marvin VanBebber, Steve Rollins, Ryan Fisher, Mike Hays and my father-in-law, Wes Hanson.
With the rest of our time together this morning, I want to share a few things that I am learning from God and from the Word of God that helps me grow as a father. Just to be clear, I am learning and growing, I have not yet reached the top.
Be Persistent
The first thing is to be persistent. That word means to continue, to be steadfast, to not give up.
So, how can we be persistent as fathers?
I think that we can be persistent in showing genuine love.
In John’s first letter he tells us,
My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love (1 Jn. 3:18, MSG).
Love doesn’t mean that we give our kids everything they want. One of the most unloving things you can do for your kids is to let them have their way. Neither does it mean withholding the essential things they need. The way our kids feel loved oftentimes will look very different from the way in which we want to show them love.
Catherine Gigante-Brown, a freelance writer, shares a personal story about her dad and his love for her. Catherine’s mom was always the one to say “I love you” and be affectionate, giving big bears hugs. Catherine’s dad, not so much. Catherine said, while she would’ve loved to have heard her dad tell her that he loved her, it really wasn’t all that necessary. She knew her dad loved her because “he worked hard, coming home with treasures like a 45 record or a “John” Beatles doll, “just because.” He took the time to color with her. He read everything she ever wrote, no matter how awful it was and he made her feel like it was Pulitzer Prize worthy. And her dad spent lots of time playing with her. She admits,
“He was saying he loved me without words. But I didn’t realize it then.”[6]
Love on your kids.
Next, I think dads need to be persistent in discipline.
Hebrews 12:6 NKJV
6 For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.”
Mike talked about this last week. It is our job to train our children according to their bend. One of the main reasons we need to be persistent in disciplining our children is because it’s not always easy. Sometimes we get it wrong and most times they don’t like it. When we get it wrong, we need to admit that and take the necessary steps to avoid repeating those mistakes. Alicia and I often talk about the noticeable ways we’ve grown in this area from our first son to our last. When it’s hard for the kids, but you’re doing it right and you know that it’s for their good don’t let off the gas.
God’s word tells us that to refuse disciplining our children is unloving. And we learn that from how God disciplines us.
Hebrews 12:11 NKJV
11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Discipline your kids.
Another one, I think we need to be persistent in prayer.
This is one of the best things that we can do for our kids. I believe this is one of the many applications of what it means to
1 Thessalonians 5:17 NKJV
17 pray without ceasing,
Colossians 4:2 NKJV
2 Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;
Having kids just might be God’s mysterious way of helping parents take prayer more seriously. If you have kids, then you know what I’m talking about. The number one thing we should pray about is their salvation. It doesn’t matter how accomplished they are in this world if they do not have a life altering relationship with Jesus Christ.
What good is it if they graduate from a prestigious college and they’re ignorant about God’s redeeming love? What good is it if they are on the cover of Fortune 500 if they don’t know about the kingdom of God? And what does it matter if they are the most respected person in the world if, when they stand before our heavenly Father He looks at them and says, depart from Me for I never knew you?
Lastly, be persistent by modeling a life that builds faith.
Teach your kids how to pray for themselves. Teach them about the value of studying God’s Word and making it a regular part of their lives.
Listen to this staggering statistic from Promise Keepers and the Baptist Press.
If a father does not go to church, even if mom does, only 2% of children worship on a regular basis. If dad does go to church regularly, regardless of what mom does, the number of children who attend church regularly jumps to somewhere around 66%-75%. Even if dad doesn’t go to church every Sunday, between 50%-66% of their kids will attend church with some regularity as adults.[7]
The same is true when it comes to attending Sunday School.
72% of kids attend Sunday when both parents attend. That number drops to 55% if dad is the only one attending Sunday School. But it gets significantly lower, dropping to 15%, if mom is the only one in Sunday School.[8]
Dads, your presence and Godly example matters.
Be Patient
Ok, the second thing that I have learned is to be patient.
Numbers 14:18 NKJV
18 ‘The Lord is longsuffering and abundant in mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He by no means clears the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation.’
This passage highlights the love of God in how He disciplines His wayward children, but also how He patiently loves them in showing them mercy and forgiveness. We need to be patient with our children as well because we don’t yet know what God is doing underneath the surface. One plants, another waters, but it is God who causes the seed to grow (1 Cor. 3:6-7).
I’m so glad that my mom and aunt didn’t give up on me. I’m so glad that Jesus kept pursuing me even as I rebelled against Him.
Also, dads, I think we need to be patient with ourselves. We aren’t going to get it right every time, and that’s why the Lord’s grace is so necessary. I am my hardest critic when it comes to parenting, but thanks to my wife and God I am growing in showing myself grace.
Be Present
Finally, the last thing that I am learning is to always be present.
Now, of course, you can’t be everywhere all the time, but you certainly need to make showing up for your kids a top priority. This past Thursday we celebrated the life of our brother Tom Dougherty and when his daughter Leslie spoke, she talked about how her dad was always there for her, especially in the small moments.
You can’t hardly read a page of the Bible without coming across the reminder that God is always present with us.
From the very first book of the Bible we see God present with His people. After creating man and woman in His image God places them in the Garden with everything they needed for life. As a Father, God enters our story as the perfect example of a Provider. Eventually, when Adam and Eve sinned against God, He was there with them even as they tried to hide
Genesis 3:8 NKJV
8 ...themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.
And even in response to the sin and brokenness of His children God shows up as a Protector when He makes a more sufficient covering for their nakedness.
In Genesis 28, when Jacob was on the run from his brother Esau and he goes looking for a wife, he made a stop in the wilderness one night while on his journey, and during the night as he slept, he came to the realization that God had always been present with him even though he didn’t know it.
Listen to what God told Him.
Genesis 28:15 NKJV
15 Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you.”
David, the greatest king Israel ever had, made this profound confession about the presence of God in Psalms 139.
Psalm 139:7–12 NKJV
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
Finally, the greatest expression of the Father’s presence is seen in the face of Jesus, the visible image of the invisible God. Emmanuel. God is with us. Before He left this world He told Philip,
John 14:18 NKJV
18 I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.
And true to His word, He has not abandoned us, we have His Spirit at home in us who believe.
The statistics are overwhelmingly in favor of having fathers or father figures present in the home. Homes where there is a positive and nurturing father figure, kids are less likely to be bullied, less likely to have depression, they have healthier relationships, are less likely to have a kid as teenagers, and more likely to graduate from high school and college.
Does this mean that kids who come from single parent homes where there is no male model present cannot have a good and prosperous life? Absolutely not. It just means that they have some obstacles to overcome that kids with a father or father figure present most likely will not have to deal with.
Remember, many of these statistics about fatherless homes have been my reality, but things began to change once I surrendered to Christ and was adopted by the God who is
Psalm 68:5 NKJV
5 A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows...
The God who
Psalm 68:6 NKJV
6 God sets the solitary in families...
My life started to take on a totally different form and what was my experience growing up, my sons will never know.
Call to Respond
Let me close with a story from a friend of mine about her dad. These are her words.
A Friend’s testimony on her Father
“My dad is one of the greatest men I have ever known. He was always making sure we had everything we needed even when he couldn't afford it. I know there were many times he went without in order to provide for our family. My mom left when I was 4 years old and my dad had to figure out a way to keep everything going while working full time and looking after my brother and I. I grew up looking to my father for everything, because he never failed me and I could trust him more than anyone else in the world. As I grew into my teenage years I started to put my dad on a very high pedestal. I was always afraid to disappoint him and he was very very strict so this made it hard to live up to expectations. I relied heavily on my dads thoughts and opinions and criticism, because I knew I could trust him. It wasn’t until I began attending [BCC] that the Lord started working on my heart and shifting my focus more to my heavenly father than to my [earthly] dad. When I realized that my father in heaven was the one I needed to be relying on to get me through life's tough decisions and that he truly was the one that would never ever fail me, everything changed in how I lived and how I viewed God. I have been let down by my dad on occasion, but I will never be let down by my savior. I have learned that he will never forsake me and will always get me through. My focus must be on Jesus.”
Listen, it doesn’t matter if you grew up without your dad like me or if your dad was your sole care giver like in my friend’s case.
God is a Father who loves you without condition.
Your sin doesn’t make Him love you less.
Your successes won’t make Him love you more.
His love for you never fails. And He proved that when Jesus died in your place.
Will you trust Him this morning?
Tre Clark
June 15, 2025
Father’s Day
[1] (https://www.niussp.org/family-and-households/americas-single-parent-households-and-missing-fathers/)
[2] Jon Tyson, The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character, p28.
[3] Jon Tyson, The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character, p29.
[4] John Sowers, Fatherless Generation, pp74-75.
[5] https://www.nolongerfatherless.org/statistics
[6] https://goodmenproject.com/families/father-never-said-love-ill-different-kt/
[7] (https://nickcady.org/2016/06/20/the-impact-on-kids-of-dads-faith-and-church-attendance/)
[8] (https://nickcady.org/2016/06/20/the-impact-on-kids-of-dads-faith-and-church-attendance/)
